Because love is funny strange, but it's also funny ha-ha.
There's a funny thing about love, and it's called everything. Thankfully, some of our favorite comedians can relate, and we found the love quotes to prove it. Not only are these
funny quotes of the day and love beautiful, they're totally spot on.
1. "I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
2. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" — Jean Illsley Clarke
3. "Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing." — Natasha Leggero
4. "I'm now making a Jewish porno film. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt." — Henny Youngman
5. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." — Garry Shandling
6. "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in." — Richard Jeni
7. "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" — Lily Tomlin
8. "Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." — Jerry Seinfeld
9. "My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
10. "Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." — Chelsea Handler
11. "Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." — George Burns
12. "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." — Groucho Marx
13. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." — Woody Allen
14. "If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." — Fran Lebowitz
15. "Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers." — Richard Pryor
16. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." — Chris Rock
17. "My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield
18. "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself." — Johnny Carson
19. "My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor." — Elayne Boosler
20. "My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning." — Ray Romano
21. "I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early." — Jack Benny
22. "Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand." — Unknown
23. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." — Billy Crystal
24. "Women love a self-confident bald man." — Larry David
25. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them." — Bill Maher
