Life can be funny sometimes. Well, so can life quotes… This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could find, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain.
This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection: funny quotes of the day
1. My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal.
2. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
3. Life is hard, after all, it kills you.
4. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
5. Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it.
6. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
7. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
8. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
9. If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
10. We go through life thinking we’re invincible, but the truth is we’re totally vincible.
11. Go through life like a duck: Majestic on top, kicking like hell underneath.
12. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes.
13. You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you throw them out of…
14. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.
15. Nobody dies a virgin life f***s us all.
This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection: funny quotes of the day
1. My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal.
-From the movie ED tv
-Terry Pratchett
3. Life is hard, after all, it kills you.
- Kathrine Hepburn
4. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- George Carlin
5. Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it.
- French Proverb
6. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
- Mark Twain
7. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
-Dalai Lama
- Homer Simpson
9. If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-Johnny Carson
10. We go through life thinking we’re invincible, but the truth is we’re totally vincible.
-That Seventies Show
11. Go through life like a duck: Majestic on top, kicking like hell underneath.
-Anonymous
12. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes.
-William Gibson
13. You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you throw them out of…
-Unknown
14. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.
-Terry Pratchett
15. Nobody dies a virgin life f***s us all.
-Kurt Cobain
